Louise
by Lauriesf
Summary: This is the prequel to Seasoned with Love, featuring my OC, Louise. The story takes place before she arrives on Atlantis. Do not read if you've not read Seasoned with Love at least up until Chapter 45 or it would spoil your fun. Chapter 1 is safe though.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1_

Forewarning: _This is the prequel for the story Seasoned with Love. Do not start reading this until you've reached Chapter 45 of that story or you may well spoil your fun. (I'll post Chapter 2 which contains revelations about Louise's past when we've reached Chapter 45)_

 _At the beginning of this prequel, Louise has not arrived yet on Atlantis._

 _No infringement intended. Only taking both SG1 and SGA for a ride. I promise to hand them back (mostly) unscathed. Sadly, I own none of the wonderful characters on those shows, only my own copies of the DVDs and a huge crush for John and Jack. Louise is mine though, as are a few other OCs on this story._

"General," Major Lawrence greets Jack O'Neill as he sets a bowl of cereals and a glass of juice on his tray. "Good to see you."

Jack nods. "And you. How are things these days? I haven't been around in a while," he adds, wincing. It's quite obvious to the other man Jack would rather be at the Cheyenne Mountain Complex than in those big brass meetings in Washington. The two men have known each other for years. Major Lawrence's position allows him to keep up with what's up and over the years, Jack and his team have spent quite a few hours down here, and at the oddest hours too. When he's not bossing his preps around, Lawrence always takes time to come and see him.

He shrugs. "Running smoothly, most of the time anyway, Sir," he replies non committally.

Jack smirks knowing nothing goes according to plan around here but even that can qualify as normal. "How about your trainee?" he asks innocently. He lifts his eyebrows when he sees Lawrence pout. "Yes?" he insists.

The other man looks around then lowers his voice. "Actually, Sir, would you have a minute? There's a matter I'd like to discuss with you."

Jack nods. "My office?" he offers.

Lawrence shakes his head. "She's not here at the moment and the commissary is pretty deserted at this time of day. Do you mind if we stay here?"

Jack nods so both men walk to a table on the farther end of the room. "So?" Jack says. "What gives?"

Lawrence wets his lips and sighs. "It's complicated..."

Jack chuckles. "You mean the little lady is complicated! Yes, I know. I had surmised things wouldn't go smoothly. Actually, I intended to make a preliminary evaluation with you. She's been here almost a month and they've solved most of the technicalities and hired almost everyone for the expedition. I need to know where we stand with her."

Lawrence pouts. "Don't get me wrong, Sir. I've never had such a dedicated trainee. She's a workaholic. She's always here before anyone, even me. She does everything I tell her though she's voiced out her complaint about having to make Salisbury steak every week."

Jack snorts. "So she does talk!"

The other man chuckles. "Yes, she does. It took time and patience though. She was as quiet as a mouse when she came here. I had a talk with her some time ago about it. She cannot expect to run the food service and not communicate with her staff. Most of her training is about that, actually. When you sent her here, I voiced out my complaint it was too great a task to train her on such short notice but I have to say, Sir, she's a quick study," he acknowledges.

O'Neill smiles. "Do I hear pride, Major Lawrence?" he teases him.

Major nods. "Yes. I'm very proud of what she's accomplished in such a short time."

"Against all odds," O'Neill points out, remembering Lawrence's first reaction when he'd been told he would be assigned a civilian.

" _With all due respect, Sir," he'd told Jack, "you cannot seriously be thinking about it. A civilian running the food service? After what we've already been through recently with Buckley? And I'd have to train him in less than two months? Impossible!" he'd replied, crossing his arms on his chest defensively._

" _Her, Major," O'Neill had corrected him. "It's a she, not a he." He'd winced seeing Lawrence's scowl._

" _A girl, running the food service on an expedition to another galaxy? Cut off from Earth and having to fend for themselves? Find solutions on their own? She won't last a week!" he'd sniggered._

" _Sorry to correct you again, Major, but the girl is a woman. In her early forties. She has no training as a head of a food service but she seems pretty resourceful... According to Dr McKay," O'Neill had felt obliged to add._

 _Lawrence rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me you trusted Dr McKay with hiring the cook?"_

" _I did not. Dr Weir did," O'Neill pouted."Look. Her application has been approved. Truth be told, not many cooks have applied for the position and she was on the shorter list. She just needs to complete her training and that's where you come in."_

"So, from what you're telling me, she's doing extremely good. I remember you saying she would never make it past the first week," O'Neill points out, smirking.

"And you said you thought she had it in her," Lawrence replies gracefully. "Were you relying on Dr McKay's "expertise"?" he prods, smirking too.

"I did, yes. Dr McKay would never dream of hiring someone incompetent for such an important part of his life. He's reknown for being quite demanding when it comes to food," O'Neill banters. "But to be honest, I did meet her once before she arrived here and there was something in her eyes... I don't know how to explain. Just a gut feeling. I'm sure she'll fare well there." He tucks in his cereals and waits for the other man's reply. Lawrence falls silent and swirls his coffee in his mug. "You don't agree with me?" Jack prods.

Lawrence shakes his head. "I do, really, I do, but not for the same reasons." O'Neill lifts his eyebrows. "She's proven very resourceful indeed," Lawrence replies. "She's a fast learner and a dedicated trainee. She's compassionate and patient with the dishwashers and preps and pays attention to people's needs. On top of that, she seems to know what everybody likes. She has a good sense of organization. She even takes initiatives."

"So what's wrong?" O'Neill seems nonplussed. It's not what he had expected. She seems to be exceeding expectations and yet, Lawrence looks worried.

The cook pouts. "She doesn't connect, Sir. She's learnt to communicate with the rest of the staff, yes, because I told her it was crucial to do so in a kitchen. She's recently joined this trade and in her former job, she'd always been allowed to work mainly on her own, and then she worked in a small diner where – as I surmised from what she let on – she was exploited by the owners. She manned the kitchen single-handedly and once again, I think it suited her down to the ground. She won't be able to do that with a staff of almost twenty people."

O'Neill pouts and puts his spoon down. "What do you want me to do, Major?"

Lawrence sighs. "I just want you to realize this might well become a problem on the expedition. There's something about Ms Léger – something she's hiding from us." O'Neill raises his eyebrows. "Not something dangerous, Sir, no. I don't think so. Just..." He hesitates. "Look. I lost my wife five years ago. I was crushed. I see the same despair in her eyes. I don't know what happened to her but if there's a possibility she might snap, you may want to know it before they leave."

She walks into the room and sees them sitting in the far end, deep in their conversation. She looks wistfully towards the General. _If he were available,_ she thinks _, and if I were not so screwed, I could easily fall in love with that man._ She sniggers inwardly. _With ifs, you'd change the world. With ifs, you'd not even be here._ She sighs and trudges to the kitchen. She's not even supposed to be here. The shift ended a couple of hours ago and she was supposed to rest but she can't. Sleep eludes her most days and she only catches a few fitful hours of rest each night – barely qualifying for sleep. She's filed a request to have access to everything she could read about the expedition, hoping to get ready for her tasks there but has been told she's not cleared yet. It's one more thing that keeps her awake at night.

As she walks across the commissary, she overhears a part of their conversation. _If there's a possibility she might snap, you may want to know it before they leave._ She looks up in alarm and sees the General's gaze trained on her. She misses a hearbeat and walks briskly to the door, her head down.

"Ms Léger," she hears him behind her and winces. "A word, please."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

She follows General O'Neill as he walks to the office he occupies when on base at Cheyenne Mountain. He ushers her sternly in the room and closes the door. He offers her a seat and settles behind his desk. He reclines in his chair, his elbows on the arms, and twindles his thumbs, watching her.

She, in return, has sat on the very edge of her chair and is holding her back straight, petrified.

She's met General O'Neill before, though very briefly, when he came with Dr McKay to offer her the position. He'd appeared on her doorstep with said doctor and she'd been impressed by the look of authority that seemed to ooze from him. Now, though, she'd want nothing else but to scamper off from his office.

He's trained his gaze on her and doesn't look like the benign yet impressive man she's met a little over a month ago. He seems to be scanning her emotions, evaluating her, as if he could read her mind. She gulps.

"Do you have something to tell me, Ms Léger?" he asks her coolly.

She looks up, bemused. She doesn't recall doing anything that would justify being ordered to his office. She shakes her head. "No, Sir."

"And yet, you should," he counters, sitting up and leaning his arms on his desk. She pouts but remains silent. He winces and reaches for a file he sets in front of him. "Major Lawrence says you're an A student," he points out, the tone belying the praise. She blushes. "He also tells me you're not a people person."

She snorts and immediately bites her bottom lip, flushing. "Sorry," she apologizes, not making eye contact.

He points at her. "There! That's what I wanted to see. Not the goody-goody person you're pretending to be, lady. I want to see the real you. I just had a glimpse of her," he adds, watching her smugly.

She scoffs. "I never pretended to be perfect, Sir," she counters.

"Fair enough. But there still remain the fact you need to know the people you're going to work with," he points out.

"And I don't?" She lifts her eyebrows, daring him to say the contrary.

He pouts. "You do?"

She raises her forefinger. "George Peterson. 19. Has been left at the altar by his high school sweetheart. Likes baseball and eggs benedict. Joe Binder. 23. Parents retired in Florida. Makes the best gumbo I've ever tasted. Is a huge fan of science fiction. Anthony Ramundo. Second-generation immigrant. Raised by his mother who he adores. His father died of cancer when he was three. Knows everything about horses and college football. Ray Sutowsky..."

O'Neill cuts her off, seeing how worked up she is, ticking information as she enunciates it. "Enough. Enough. I got the gist of it." He huffs. "How do you know so much about these people?" he wonders.

She gives him a tense smile. "I listen, Sir. I don't talk a lot but I listen to them. And I observe too. I know you like to have oatmeal most days but that you'll always opt for the Fruit Loop cereals if there's any. I know you like my meat loaf and my sugar pies. I'm also aware that you're legend here and younger military do not dare sit at your team's table, even when you're not on base."

He watches her intently. "It's probably the longest you've ever talked on that base, Ms Léger," he points out. "What are you afraid of?" he asks and sees her blush.

She looks at her hands resting on her lap. "Ms Léger?" he insists.

"Of being sent away," she mutters and looks up. He sees apprehension in her eyes.

"You don't even know yet why you're here," he points out. "Why are you so intent on being part of this expedition?"

"When you came to see me, Sir, Dr McKay said it was the chance of a lifetime. I know he was telling the truth. I need this second chance." She presses her lips together. "I'll do everything I'm told. Entrust me with this job and you'll never have to regret it."

"Ms Léger, you have to understand. If we clear you for this expedition, there's no turning back. You're already inside one of the most secret facilities on Earth. You sign the waiver for the mission, you'll have access to something even bigger. I don't want to take chances. Prove me you're worth the risk we're taking."

She sighs. "With all due respect, Sir, I don't get it. I accepted your terms when I came here. What has changed?"

He eyes her coolly. "What has changed, Ms Léger," he says, insisting on her last name, "is that we dug a little deeper and discovered you're not who you pretend to be. I've been patient and waited for you to come clean about it but you haven't, so now, I'm asking. Who are you? Your name is not Léger, right?"

She gasps and her heart starts beating two hundred miles an hour. "Sir, I..."

He lifts his finger threateningly. "Be very careful about what you're going to say, Louise – if that is even your name," he adds, tilting his head.

She falls silent and looks at her hands once more. "Send me back," she says despondently. "I'm sorry I wasted your time."

He shakes his head. "As I said earlier, Louise, whoever gets to Norad doesn't leave that easily." She gasps. "And what on Earth are you hiding that would be worth relinquishing the position we've offered you?"

She sighs. "Louise is my first name. Léger was my grandmother's. I've come here to start a new life. Try to forget about my disastrous past," she answers truthfully.

He smiles. "We knew about the name, of course. The one on your passport is quiet common, though. There are more than twenty women wearing the same name in France. Which one are you?" he asks, lifting his eyebrows.

"The one with a screwed up past," she replies self-deprecatingly.

"I don't get it, Jack," Daniel tells him when they discuss the problem on the phone later on. "Everyone seems to think she's perfect for the job – Dr Weir, McKay, Lawrence, even you. Why do you hesitate?"

O'Neill cocks his head. Jackson's got a point. "We've technically conducted research on her. Made sure she's not NID or anything else. Apparently, she's not. I just want her to open up about herself – be truthful. She's gonna be one of the senior members of the expedition. She'll manage twenty people that she'll have to share with the CO of the expedition. They're all military, fer cryin' out loud!"

"Want me to come and help?" Daniel offers. "I need to touch base anyway. Let me talk to her. You must have scared her. She probably needs a gentler approach."

O'Neill snorts. "Scared her. Yeah, sure."

Daniel winces at the end of the line. "You're pretty scary when you put your mind to it, Jack."

"Really?" O'Neill replies, making Daniel roll his eyes.

"And don't get too smug about it!" he tells his friend. "That won't help in the matter."

They approach her as she's clearing tables after breakfast. "Louise," O'Neill says, "meet Dr Daniel Jackson."

She looks up apprehensively. Ever since she's had that conversation with O'Neill and he let her out of his office with a promise they'd talk again soon, she's had recurring nightmares about being locked away somewhere dark. The bright blue eyes that meet her light brown ones are the kindest she's ever seen. He extends his hand. "Call me Daniel," he offers. She wipes her hand on her apron and smiles shyly.

"Hi, Sir," she replies politely, shaking hands.

He bites his lip but refrains from countering her, seeing how reserved she looks. "I'm here for a few days, Ms Léger," he tells her, "and I hope we'll have time to talk. This expedition is a dream come true for all of us here," he says, glancing at O'Neill who shakes his head sternly.

"No, Daniel, you cannot go," he informs him, looking annoyed.

The other man looks crestfallen. He smiles at Louise nonetheless and shrugs. "Maybe I will and I'll see you there."

She shrugs too. "Wherever that is, Sir. I've not been given any details yet. Might not go at all," she tells him despondently.

O'Neill pouts. "OK, kiddos, you know what? I'll let you get acquainted. I have a conference call at 11:00. I'll catch up with you later," he says, leaving hurriedly.

Daniel leans towards Louise conspiratorially. "He doesn't like it when things get complicated," he says, making her giggle.

"I see that, yes. Can I prepare something for you, Sir?" she offers, motioning to the kitchen.

"Daniel," he corrects her. "And yes, cup of coffee would be nice."

She nods. "I'll be right back." She returns with an expresso and a coffee-flavored cupcake. "I heard you liked coffee," she says. "Strong one, right?"

He nods and thanks her. "Would you join me?" he offers.

She looks uncomfortable. "I'm not supposed to, Sir."

He eyes Major Lawrence peaking in the commissary and motions for him to join them. They shake hands. "Dr Jackson, good to have you back," her boss tells the other man. Obviously, they too know each other well.

"Would it be OK if I borrowed this young lady here for a few minutes?" Daniel asks him.

"Not at all. Borrow away," Lawrence tells him. "You may take your break now," he tells her with a smile. "You've earned it."

She thanks him with a smile and sits tentatively in front of Daniel.

"Won't you have coffee with me, Ms Léger?" he offers.

She smiles but shakes her head. "Thank you, Sir. I need to be reasonable about the caffeine. I like it a little bit too much," she says, pouting.

He chuckles. "Same here! So, how do you like it here?" he asks after taking a bite at his cupcake and sighing with content.

She looks away. "I'm happy to be here," she simply says.

"Jack told me you've had a conversation with him," he says non-committally.

She nods. "Yes."

He chuckles. "You two could make a duet. You're as taciturn as he is." He snaps his fingers. "You need to meet Teal'c," he chuckles. "That would make a trio!"

She bites her bottom lip. "General O'Neill doesn't trust me," she confesses. "I didn't fare well in his office."

Daniel shakes his head dismissively. "He just wants to make sure he's sending the right person. He says you're hiding something." She pouts and looks away. "Look," he says, putting his hands on the table, "Jack can read your file or he can ask you. He asked. That's a good sign. He wants you to be truthful. It's important to him. We have the intel. All of it," he adds, lifting his eyebrows. She looks scared now. "Hey, we didn't read it. We want you to tell us."

She falls silent then looks up at him. "I don't want my past to follow me wherever we're going. I want to leave it where it belongs. I already had to come clean about my medical condition. That was humiliating enough," she mutters.

He nods. "Jack told me. I trust Dr Lam was considerate with you," he says tentatively.

She nods. "Yes, she was very kind. I just don't want people to know."

His eyebrows shoot to his hairline. "Why? It's hardly your fault."

"People shun people like me or you get looks of pity. I hate it. I'm healthier than most." She lowers her voice. "It's not because I've got diabetis, I cannot do things like everyone else," she points out, tapping her forefinger impatiently on the table.

He smirks. "Jack mentioned you were outspoken. I see what he means." He sighs, seeing her retreat into her shell. "Hey, it was a compliment. And yes, you're right. You can indeed do everything like everybody else."

"Thank you," she mouthes. Daniel is the first person she opens up to in months and she's only met him, she realizes. She hasn't talked to someone so easily in years.

He smiles. "Hey," he says, "have you been allowed outside Cheyenne Mountain since you arrived?"

She shakes her head. "Even if I'd gotten permission, I haven't had the time."

"They made you slave away, right?" he banters.

She chuckles. "Yes, there's that. I was kind of responsible for it too. Food is my passion. I tend to spend more time in a kitchen than anywhere else."

"Well," he says, "I'm gonna ask Jack if you do have permission, in which case I'm taking you out tonight. There's that restaurant we like to go to – O'Malley's. You won't be cooking tonight."

It's been decided that Jack would go with them too. A few of the preps know the place well and some having down time tonight, she sees them there sitting at a table in the corner. "Maybe I should join them and let you two reconnect," she offers, feeling uncomfortable.

O'Neill stops her with his hand on her arm. "Ms Léger," he tells her sternly, "you're with us. If you join the expedition, you'll be some of these young men and women's boss. I advise you strongly against being chummy with the staff."

She pouts. "Sorry," she mutters and follow them to their table.

The waitress who's ushered them to the table seems to know them well. "Same as usual, General, Doctor?" she checks. They both nod. "And what about you, Ma'am? What will it be for you? Beer like these gentlemen? A glass of Chardonnay perhaps?"

Louise blanches. "No, thanks. I'll have water, please." The waitress looks taken aback but jots down the orders and leaves.

"You have the right to let your hair down tonight, Ms Léger," O'Neill points out. "It's your night off. No tricks here."

She shakes her head. "No, thank you, Sir. I don't drink," she replies and looks away.

He narrows his eyes at her. "You don't drink or you won't drink?" he insists.

She bites her bottom lip. "Jack," Daniel chides him.

"It's OK," she says, nodding resolutely. "I can answer that. If you agree to keep it off the record."

Jack nods. ""I'm a teetotaller," she confesses. "I don't drink because I shouldn't and because I won't. Satisfied?" she sneers.

Daniel finds her in the library the next day. She's sitting all by herself.

"Hey, there you are!" he cries out, trying to look cheerful. Last night was difficult to say the least. Louise's walls are so high, he's afraid she'll never let them in. She clammed up completely when told by Jack she needs to go and see the shrink soon. Jack's surmised since she told them she's a reformed alcoholic, she's used to talking to doctors. Apparently, she's not.

She confessed to Daniel when he walked her back to her quarters that she's had her share of shrinks and refuses to see any of them again. She has her way of dealing with stress and that's cooking. "Cooking saved my life, Daniel. It works for me. I'll stick to it," she's said stubbornly.

By now, he's got the hang of it. She's bullheaded and if pushed to her limits, she retreats into her shell. Jack is a bull in a china shop. She needs people to be patient but there's no time for that. The expedition's date has been set. If she wants to be part of it, she'll have to make efforts.

She looks up from her book and gives him a tense smile. She's got dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm sorry we put you under so much strain, last night," he tells her and sits in front of her.

She shrugs. "It's OK. It's not you. I often have difficulties sleeping," she elaborates.

"Jack was an ass," he remarks with a pout.

She scoffs. "It's OK. He's got the right to be. He's the boss," she counters.

He bites his bottom lip. She's already understood what he's come to tell her – that she needs to make compromises. "You should talk to Jack," he says with an encouranging smile. "Whatever you have to say, he'll listen and won't judge, you know. I understand you've had a rough past. He's no stranger to that," he says, not wanting to let on too much. It's not for him to say but it sure would help to connect to her.

She scoffs. "Yeah, sure. I got the picture. Probably been injured several times in missions."

He winces. "Yeah, that too. Look, I came here to tell you there are no two ways around it. Dr Lam says you refused to make an appointment with the shrink. General Landry said you won't be cleared if you don't go. You need to understand. We're not your enemies here. Jack can get all the intel he wants on you. He just wants a little honesty from you. Hear it from you first hand. If you don't open up about it, you won't be cleared to go."

She looks at her hands on the table. "Daniel," she says in a whisper, her voice strained, "it's hard enough as it is to live with it. I don't want to have people judging me."

"We won't judge you, Louise," he promises. "We'll just listen."

"If it gets in my file, who will have access to it?" she wants to know.

"General Landry, I guess, and the top brass in Washington," he replies.

"Will Dr Weir and Colonel Sumner know as well?" she prods.

He presses his lips together. "Well, yeah, I guess. They're the senior staff."

She shakes her head. "Then, that's a no," she replies resolutely.

General O'Neill walks into the kitchen later that day, scaring the shit out of her. He nods at Lawrence who, with the rest of the staff, drop whatever they're doing to stand at attention. "As you were, people," he says nonchalantly. He trains his eyes on Louise. "Mind if I borrow the lady here?" he asks Lawrence.

Her boss shooes her to the door. "Go," he tells her with an encouraging smile.

She gulps and hangs her head. She follows the General but contrary to what she expected, it's not to his office but to the elevator. "You spend too much time cooped up down below," he tells her. "A breath of fresh air won't hurt."

They step outside. They're on top of Cheyenne Mountain Complex, overlooking the city of Colorado Springs below and beyond. She breathes in. "Nice, uh?" he asks her and folds his arms on his chest. She nods quietly. "I used to come here sometimes the first year I came back here," he tells her. "To regroup and think." She glances towards him. He smiles. "Not meditation. Just, you know..."

"Thinking about your life and all the what ifs, Sir?" she tentatively asks.

"Something like that, yeah. You?" he wonders.

She shrugs. "I went to San Francisco before coming here," she confesses. "To think too."

He nods. "That's good. But San Francisco is a long way from home to you," he points out.

She scoffs. "Home is where one feels happy. San Francisco always made me feel happy. My hometown doesn't. Hasn't. For a long time."

He nods again. "OK. What happened there, Louise? And before you tell me to mind my own business, I'll tell you the report has been sitting on my desk for weeks – unread," he adds, glancing at her.

She glances at him too and he sees her soften. "Why?" she whispers.

"Cause I don't like second-hand intel. And files don't tell how people feel, only what happened to them." She pouts. "Take me, for instance. I was suicidal when my son accidentally killed himself," he says, turning to her. She gasps. "Not many people know about this, Louise. I'm just telling you because I surmise you have a similar history and you understand the need to be discreet about it." She nods. "Who did you lose, Louise?" he asks her gently, leveling his gaze with hers.

She breathes in and out and gulps. "My son too. And my husband. Car accident. I snapped," she adds.

He scoffs. "Who wouldn't?"

She smiles. "How old was..." She stops mid-sentence, not daring to finish it. They don't know each other and he's way older and a General too.

He smiles sadly. "Charlie. He was eight."

She sighs, tears welling up in her eyes. "Gabriel was five, almost six."

She wraps her arms around herself and bends forward a little, as if in pain. He puts his hands on her shoulders, steadying her. "Hey, it gets easier with time. Talking helps. Keeping it all inside will eventually kill you," he says gently.

She shakes her head. "I don't care."

"You tried to kill yourself?" he asks, looking her in the eye. She looks away, ashamedly. "I got close to that too," he confesses. She looks up at him. "You have to allow yourself to live, Louise. It was not your fault," he tells her.

She scoffs and wipes her tears away with her sleeve. "I should have been in that car," she replies stubbornly.

He pouts. "I see you need time, which is OK. It took me years. Give it some time. One day, you'll see things in a different light."

They take the elevator back to Level 22. "Louise," he tells her. "Daniel knows all about my son. Feel free to talk to him about him and Gabriel. I think it might be good for you to have another friend here who knows. I'm not always around." She looks taken aback. He smiles. "After what you confessed to me, I think we can safely call ourselves friends, don't you think?"

She nods. "Yes, General. Thank you," she replies, her voice barely above a whisper.

"And it's Jack when we're not on base," he adds before leaving.

She sighs and heads towards Daniel's lab. All this is the least she expected from a man like the General. He's right though. She owes it to Daniel to tell him the truth.

She knocks on his door softly. He looks up from the artefact he's working on and smiles. "Mind if I come in," she asks tentatively. "There's something I'd like to tell you."

TBC

 _Extract from Louise's Cookbook._

Daniel worships coffee. I'm partial to it myself. We were meant to be friends.

 _Coffee Cupcakes with Buttercream Coffee Frosting_

For 12 cupcakes:

1 tsp coffee extract (if you don't have any, use 1 tsp instant coffee and 1 tsp hot water)

9 Tbsp butter, softened

2/3 cup light brown sugar

2 eggs

2/3 cup flour, sifted

1 tsp baking powder and 1 pinch baking soda

For the frosting:

1 tsp coffee extract

1/2 cup butter, softened

1 cup confectioners' sugar

Make the cupcakes:

Mix the butter and sugar until light and fluffy then whisk in the eggs. Add the coffee extract. Finish with the dry ingredients.

Bake for 20 mn, 350°F.

Cool the cupcakes.

Make the frosting:

Whisk the butter with the confectioners' sugar until well mixed and stiff. Add the coffee extract and whisk again. Frost the cupcakes with a star tipped piping bag or a ziploc bag with the tip cut.

Keep in the fridge.

These cupcakes can be frozen. Unfreeze them for 45 mn at room temperature.

(PS: the photo for this recipe in on my Tumblr bog: search for letsseasoneverythingwithlove)


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

She's sat with Daniel at his work table and it seems they've been talking for hours – about Charlie and Jack's divorce, his own story with Sha're, her former life and how she finally beat the odds and stayed alive... Once she gets started, it seems she can't stop. It seems it's therapeutic for them both actually.

Daniel leans back in his chair and grins at her. "I can't believe we've known each other for so little time, Louise," he tells her. "It seems we've been friends forever." He sighs in content.

She smiles at him and agrees. She needed this – needed to tell someone, someone who's not part of her previous life. She realizes the here and now – her time at the SGC – it's like a bridge between two worlds. She's allowing herself to let go so that she won't ever have to do it again.

If they're true to their words and they leave her past out of her file, then she can start a brand new life with no one to judge her and no one to watch her. She doesn't know what she'll do with that life they're offering her, over there, wherever that is.

She's not even picturing herself in one or five or ten years. She's kept alive until now. She's not sure that will last. Maybe she'll relapse. Maybe her survival instinct won't be enough. All she knows is wherever they're sending her, she won't have to connect anymore. Cooking has become her whole universe and it's more than enough. But here, she's indulging herself for a tiny amount of time, allowing herself to push her guilt back to the outer edges of her consciousness.

Someone knocks on the door. She turns and sees a mountain of a man standing in the doorway. "Good afternoon, Daniel Jackson," he sternly greets her friend and nods. He then turns to her and nods at her too.

Daniel grins. "Exactly the man we needed to see. Louise, please meet Teal'c, the fourth member of our team." He's already told her about Sam Carter and how she must meet her before she leaves.

She gapes and when she realizes what she's doing, clams her mouth shut, embarrassed by her lack of an education. She flushes. "Nice to meet you," she says.

His lips turns up just a little. "Nice to meet you too, Louise Léger," he replies.

"How do you know my name?" she asks, bemused.

Daniel laughs. "Everyone knows about the little lady who's doing wonders in our commissary."

The other man nods. "Indeed. Jack O'Neill talks a lot about your chocolate cakes and sugar pies. I, myself, must say your food is quite enjoyable."

She raises her eyebrows and looks at Daniel who snorts. "Indeed," he chimes in playfully.

Teal'c turns to Daniel. "I see you're busy, Daniel Jackson. I'll see you later on."

"Please, stay," she says hurriedly, feeling she's intruding on their routine. "I need to return to the commissary anyway."

She stands and walks to the door. "I'll see you later," she tells Daniel. "Pleased to meet you, Mr Teal'c."

She hears Daniel chuckles as she leaves. "See you, Louise."

He drops by later on as she's getting ready to head back to her quarters. He grins. "So, what do you think of our man Teal'c?" he prods.

She bites her bottom lip. "Well," she says, looking at him pensively. "Can I be honest with you?" she asks him.

He gives her a broad smile. "Sure. Go ahead. I'm anxious to know what you think of him."

She leans towards him conspiratorially. "He's weird, no?" She sees him smirk. "I mean, I'm sure he must be good on the field – no doubt about that!" she snorts. "But boy, is he tall! And that tattoo he has on his forehead? Kind of gives you the creeps."

Daniel presses his lips together not to laugh. "Yeah, well, he's not from here, you know. Kind of like you, actually," he teases her.

She puts her hands on her hips and eyes him coolly, lifting an eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean, Daniel Jackson?" she demands.

He snorts. "Teal'c is rubbing off on you already," he points out.

Her eyes crinkle. "Indeed," she replies with a grin.

"You'll see him around for now on," he informs her as they make their way back to the private quarters. "Said he's staying for a few weeks. He's had to go and attend to other business," he elaborates. "I'm glad he's staying longer this time." They walk in comfortable silence to the elevator. "He thinks you're scared of him," he mentions in passing. She pouts. He stops her with his hand on her arm. "Louise, Teal'c is a kind man with those he does not deem dangerous. And he's a good judge of character too. He said you're in pain," he tells her truthfully and watches her cautiously. She looks away. "Louise," he insists.

She turns to him and glares, tears in her eyes. "Tell your friend I don't want his pity," she snaps before stomping to the elevator and punching the call button nastily.

He sighs and joins her. "I didn't say he pitied you. I said he saw it," he corrects her.

"What difference does it make?" she mutters, refusing to look him in the eye.

"A world of difference!" he cries out. "Look, Louise. Teal'c has had his share of loss in his life too. Big time. He knows pain when he sees it and he sure doesn't judge by the book cover. He won't patronize you or look down on you. What you see is what you get."

She pouts, feeling ashamed for snapping at him and being judgemental. "Sorry," she whispers.

He rubs her arm affectionately. "It's OK. Come on," he says as the elevator's doors open. "I'll walk you to your door."

They're met by the stern-looking gaze of a man in uniform. "Dr Jackson," he nods at her friend curtly and gives her a tense smile. "Ms Léger, I presume?" he greets her.

She nods. "Sir," she greets him respectfully. Major Lawrence has helped her navigate the maze of the military ranks and she now just needs to take one look at them to know the guy is a colonel.

"Louise, meet Colonel Sumner," Daniel tells her.

She feels the butterflies in her stomach grow to epic proportions. She's not comfortable around people in general, let alone officers, but here is the guy she's heard will lead the expedition and he looks anything but kind. He watches her cautiously, evaluating her, scanning her, she tells herself. She gulps.

"I've been told you're on the shorter list for heading the food service of our expedition," he tells her off-handedly.

She freezes. "That's not what I was told, Sir," she counters him.

"Oh, and what were you told then, Ms Léger?" he mocks her.

"I've been offered the position and I'm currently training to head said service," she tells him. She sees him sneer and refrains from rolling her eyes.

"Actually, you were misinformed. You're on the shorter list. Your application will be valid only when we've made our decision," he retorts.

She breathes in. "And who is "we", Colonel?"

Daniel huffs. "No need to worry her with that, Colonel. You know we need her on this expedition. You needn't worry, Louise," he tells her reassuringly.

She glances at him then looks at Sumner. "Actually, Dr Jackson," the other man goes on, "this is not exactly what we discussed with Dr Weir. You were not at that meeting so you couldn't know," he adds nastily. "Seeing as she'll be on the senior staff, we all have a say in the matter. Including me," he adds, narrowing his eyes on her. "Actually, I've wanted to have a word with you about it for some time, Ms Léger," he tells her coolly. "I've been told you have finished your shift," he tells her. She understands it was no accident they've met here and now. He was coming to see her.

Daniel cuts him off. "Do Landry or O'Neill know about this?" he asks him suspiciously.

Sumner brushes it off. "Dr Weir knows." He turns to Louise with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "Ms Léger?" he says, motioning for her to go first. "I trust you won't mind granting me a few minutes of your time." He's baiting her to see how she's going to react.

She sighs and turns to Daniel. "Guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow, Dr Jackson," she tells her friend. He smiles encouragingly. "I'll call you later," he promises her, letting Sumner know she's not alone.

Sumner takes her back on the elevator to a conference room. He offers her a seat and rounds the table, sitting opposite her. She places her hands in front of her on the table, mirroring his own stance.

He watches her for a few excrutiating seconds. "Do you know why I wanted to see you, Ms Léger?" he asks her.

She shrugs. "Get to know me, I guess," she replies and winces, hearing she's being too cheeky for her own good.

He scoffs. "To convince you you have to abandon that ridiculous project you have of coming with 're not cut out for the job," he counters her.

She stands abruptly, pushing the chair away from her and crosses her arms on her chest defensively. "Oh, really?" she dares him. Her heart is beating too fast and she knows it's not good. Too much stress sometimes makes her blood sugar level drop too fast. She breathes in and out but it's to no avail. She feels anger bubbling in her chest. The nerve of the guy!

He tilts his head and points his finger at the chair. "Sit down, Ms Léger," he orders her.

She refuses to budge. "I'm not one of your men, Sir," she cries out indignantly.

"Yeah, that's indeed a problem," he tells her.

She feels her hands shaking with anger and folds them behind her back. "So, if I get that right, Sir," she says, insisting on the last word, "you do not approve of my presence on this expedition because I am not military?"

He nods. "That's part of it, yeah. And there's also that spark of diffidence I detect in your eyes that I do not like at all," he tells her.

She can't help smirking. She knows it's impudent and it's earned her quite a few slaps on the wrist when she was younger but the guy is an arrogant douche.

He tries to stare her down but she refuses to look away this time. "Anything else?" she asks him. "Cause I was raised with the notion one has to know people before they pass judgment," she points out.

He stands and leans on the table, his hands grasping the edge of it. She sees his knuckles turn white and bites her bottom lip. This time, she might have gone too far, she berates herself. "I have seen enough civilian subcontractors like yourself," he says through clenched teeth, "get killed in war zones to know you won't last a week, Ms Léger. I'm doing this out of kindness. I'm told Major Lawrence likes having you here, against all odds. Take my advice then and stay with him. I'm sure General O'Neill will find a position for you on base. It'll save your life."

She tilts her chin up defiantly. "And what if I don't care if I live or die, Colonel?" she defies him.

He gapes, at a loss for words, bemused by the void he suddenly sees in her eyes.

"Are we done here?" she asks him.

He presses his lips together and motions for her to feel free to leave.

"Just know something, Ms Léger," he calls after her as she's ready to open the door. She looks at him over her shoulder. "You come on this expedition. I'll make your life a living hell."

She sneers. "I expect no less from you."

She's setting trays of jell-o in the commissary when she sees him. Rakish flyboy looks, tall and lanky figure, a sarcastic smirk plastered on his face, dark unruly hair that's sticking in all directions, the whole package. She scowls.

"Saw you, Ms Léger," Major Lawrence chuckles. "What's with the scowl?" he says, glancing in the direction she's looking.

She shakes her head and gives one last look at the man who's just entered the room before she turns away. "Nothing," she mutters.

"You know him?" Lawrence insists.

"No need to," she replies, spite dripping in her voice. "I know his kind all right."

Lawrence's eyebrows shoot to his hairline. She's never acted judgmental before. "Really?" he asks tentatively.

She rolls her eyes, looking royally pissed. "Oh, yeah. Met plenty of those in my classrooms," she replies disdainfully. "Skateboarders, surfers, jocks...Good looks, devil-may-care attitude. I know them all right. They try to charm their way with people around them. Promise they'll be good," she pouts, looking scornful. "They never are."

Lawrence folds his arms on his chest, regarding her cautiously. "Students put you to the test?" he prods.

She pouts. "Yeah, you can say that again! And not the ones I'd imagined. You know. You get in that job and you think – those kids from the inner city, they're gonna test you, make your life a living hell. Well, guess what? It wasn't such a big deal. But then, I moved to another school – upper middle class neighborhood. Obviously well-educated kids. Except some of them think they can get away with acting cool, even impudent, because their parents have money and they have good looks. That guy," she says, hooking a thumb at her back, towards the flyboy, "he's one of them. I would bet my life on it." She falls silent. "Who is he, anyway?" she asks, looking up at her boss.

He unfolds his arms and the corners of his lips turn up just a bit. "So, you're interested!" he points out wickedly. "First time I see you take a second look at someone." She scowls and crosses her arms on her chest defensively. "Major John Sheppard," he elaborates. "Colonel Sumner's 2IC, so to speak. He's part of the expedition too," he adds, though he needn't elaborate from the look of exasperation on her face.

"Then that'll make two d bags I hope I'll never have to deal with," she answers before stomping to the door.

He chuckles and follows her inside the kitchen. "Wait until you know him, Ms Léger. You might like him. He's not without reminding me of a certain General," he tells her with a smirk.

She looks surprised. "You're not comparing him to General O'Neill, right?" she replies indignantly. "Because he's a good man and that guy out there," she sneers, "will only mean trouble. Big time."

Lawrence chuckles. "I never said he wouldn't, Ms Léger. You're not listening. I'm saying General O'Neill had a few run-ins with authority over the years and yet, he's the best. Major Sheppard has the same profile. Actually," he adds mischievously, "you might even come to like him. He's already had a brawl with Sumner and I know for a fact you don't like the guy. See. You two might even find some common ground." He cocks his head at her, his eyes crinkling. He'd never have dared tease her like that a week or so ago but it seems the time she's spent with Jackson and O'Neill has done wonders and she's slowly allowing herself to reveal the true nature of her fiery temper. Which is rather to his liking.

"Never," she snaps, making him chuckle.

"Time will tell, Ms Léger," he replies before removing his apron. "Can I entrust the kitchen to you?" he asks. "I need to see someone."

She smiles tersly. "Sure, Sir. No problem."

He walks to Landry's office and knocks on his open door tentatively. "Sir, do you have a minute?" he asks.

Landry motions for him to come in. "Always happy to take a break from these," he says, pointing at the huge pile of reports on his desk. "Sit down, chef. What can I do for you?"

Lawrence sits and smiles. "It's rather what I can do for you, Sir," he counters. Landry lifts his eyebrows expectantly. "You asked me to keep you posted on Ms Léger's progress. As you know, she's trained and ready to go. I trust Dr Jackson told you she's made progress too – people-wise." Landry nods. "Well, it so happens she's just completed the tasks set out for her. She's just snapped at me," he says, chuckling.

Landry's eyebrows shoot to his hairline. "Didn't know being disrespectful with you was part of the contract," he remarks.

Lawrence smirks. "Let me rephrase that, Sir. She spoke her mind for the first time ever. Showed her true personality. And I must say, she's got quite a temper! She'll do alright there, Sir, I think."

Landry smirks and nods. "Alright then. I'll call General O'Neill with the good news. It's time to tell the little lady where she's going."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

They summon her to the conference room. Daniel comes to pick her up at her quarters early in the morning, before she's due for her shift. Jack's surmised it would be a good thing for her to have a friendly face with her when she's told.

"How have you been doing, Louise?" he asks her, giving her a loose hug. She's always amazed at how fast he's made her feel at ease. She used to shy away from physical contact but with him, it's different. She hasn't had a friend like him in years. Come to think about it – she's never had a friend like him – someone she can trust instinctively.

"I'm alright, Daniel. Except for that all secrecy thing regarding the expedition and this base here," she pouts.

"Haven't let you roam around freely yet, I gather?" he replies, pouting too.

She shakes her head. "Nope. I'm only allowed to go from my quarters to the kitchen and back. With an occasional stop at the library and infirmary, of course," she winces.

He knows she's had to undergo more tests with Dr Lam. She hates being prodded with needles and feeling like she's sick, she told him. And she's scared of going to the shrink's, which she has been told is a must if she wants to tick all the requirements on the list to get the position. "Well, I'm being told this is about to change," he says with a broad smile.

She beams at him. "Well, that's good news, Daniel! You're my guardian angel," she adds, rubbing his arm affectionately.

"That, lady," he tells her, "is gonna earn you my undying loyalty and unconditional friendship," he tells her with a fond smile. "Come on," he says, holding his hand out for her to take, "I'm taking you to the conference room. You're gonna love what we're gonna tell you," he says, his eyes twinkling.

"Louise? Have you heard us?" he asks worriedly. They've just told her everything – where they're going, what they intend to do, what to expect, and most of all, what they don't know.

She looks up, looking stunned, and shakes her head. "Yes, yes, I heard you." She turns to Landry. "Can I see the stargate, Sir?" she asks excitedly.

Landry chuckles and turns to Sumner. "And you thought she would turn tail and run! You owe me fifty bucks, Colonel," he tells the other man. Sumner scoffs. Landry nods at Louise. "Yes, you may." She stands from her chair and he motions for her to sit. "But before you do, I need you to understand something. Your file has been approved. General O'Neill has been informed. You're good to go. The question is, young lady, are you?" he asks with raised eyebrows.

She bites her bottom lip. "I'm not a young lady anymore, General," she counters cheekily.

"For me, you are," he counters back.

She shrugs. "First time in years I'm called that. It's refreshing!" she says self-deprecatingly. "Anyway, yes, I'm good to go. Told ya'. I'm not going back where I came from if I can help it. Besides, wow. I mean. Atlantis? The Lost City? If this is real, I wanna go," she says resolutely.

"Didn't you hear the man?" Colonel Sumner grunts. "It might be a suicide mission, for all we know. And there's probably no turning back. If we survive this," he adds, pointing his finger impatiently at the file in front of him, "we will have to fend for ourselves. And you, lady, will have to make sure we don't starve out there."

She flinches at the violence of his tone. He's not changed his mind about her, still seeing her as a liability rather than an asset. She scowls. "I heard the man alright, Colonel. I'm not stupid. And I'm resilient and resourceful. I might be a petite but I'm not useless. I want in. You won't regret it, Sir," she says, turning to Landry.

The latter grins and nods. He turns to Jackson who's been observing her the whole time, not saying a word. Daniel grins too. Landry stands. "Well then, lady, you've earned a tour of the base," he tells her. "Follow me. I'll do the honors."

She is asked to attend several meetings after that – with Dr Weir and General O'Neill mainly. She's told about her responsibilities and asked to make a list with Major Lawrence of what she'll need to carry through the gate. "You have to understand the gate only remains open for thirty-eight minutes and we need to carry as much equipment as possible during that time. We won't get a second chance at dialing it. Everything needs to be ready and packed as efficiently as possible," O'Neill tells her.

"So, no fancy food and no useless stuff like liquorice candy and Fruit Loop cereals, right?" she baits him.

He snorts. "Ms Léger," he points out, trying to look stern, "you're getting way too cheeky for your own good."

She presses her lips together and lowers her head but he sees the corners of her lips turn up just a tad. He thanks Daniel inwardly for making her open up. She's indeed the best candidate on the shorter list they had and he's glad he won't have to tell Dr McKay she's not been chosen.

He calls her back after the meeting as she's making her way to the door hastily. "Got a minute, Ms Léger?" he asks her with raised eyebrows.

She pouts and turns round, folding her hands behind her back. She's soon gotten the hang of standing respectfully in front of superiors. "At ease, soldier," he chuckles. "I just wanted to ask you if you'd care to join Daniel and I for a night at O'Malley's before you leave."

She beams at him. "Yes, Sir. Thank you. I'd like that."

He nods. "It will be good to have a little party before you leave us," he points out and sees her blanch. He walks to her. "You OK?"

She shakes her head and looks away. "Yes, Sir, I am. Don't worry. If you don't mind, Sir," she adds with a forced smile, "I'd like to return to the kitchen. Major Lawrence needs me for the midday service."

He nods and lets her go, wondering what went through her mind just then. She walks briskly through the corridors and only lets out the breath she didn't know she was holding when she reaches the comfort of being alone for a few seconds in the elevator.

It's just hit her like a ton of bricks. She was so excited about the whole project she's overlooked one tiny detail. The place and people she's finally comfortable with are soon gonna be history. She hasn't had to connect with any other member of the expedition because she was so damn busy finishing her training and truth be told, they're probably too with their preparations. By the time she reaches Atlantis, they'll all have made friends but all she has is a staff – hardly the type of people you hang out with, should you wish to be respected. She'll be on her own.

She remembers sitting on Twin Peaks and watching the Golden Gate Bridge that day – when she'd made a little detour to San Francisco before heading for Cheyenne Mountain. She'd told General O'Neill and Dr McKay she needed to think about their offer, which had boggled McKay's mind.

She had a lousy job, in a lousy diner, but at least what she saw was what she got. Those people didn't care about who she was as long as she got the job done and they let her live the semblance of a life she now had. No questions, no strings attached. That's what she'd decided she needed from now on. Being at the SGC has undermined her certainties. And now, she's back to square one.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

"Look, Rodney," Daniel says with a pout. "I know you've got plenty of work to do before leaving. Yes, you're a busy man. But that little lady you chose to be your cook, she needs to connect to people. I want you to meet her," he says resolutely.

Rodney rolls his eyes in exasperation. Daniel is stubborn and a pain in the neck. What he wants, he usually gets, if only by pestering people until they relent. Well, most things, Rodney sniggers inwardly, thinking about General O'Neill's adamant refusal to let Daniel participate in the expedition. "Dr Jackson," he tells the other man with a smug look, "I've already met her. Remember? I was the one who discovered her. I went to see her in New Brunswick with General O'Neill and got her to agree to coming with us." He gives Daniel a once over, implying the conversation is over but Daniel doesn't budge and crosses his arms on his chest.

"That's not what I meant. Of course you met her. I want you to get acquainted, connect to her," he insists.

He sees McKay retreat in his shell. Like him at the beginning – and probably a lot of other scientists working for the SGC and Area 51 – McKay is far from being considered a people person. Rather like a man hater in general. He's scornful and aloof and quite stuck up but Daniel believes it's just a front – very much like Louise actually. Now he knows about her story, he can't blame her, but he still needs to make sure she won't be on her own on Atlantis. "I have no time for this," McKay mutters, making a hasty retreat towards the elevator.

Daniel pouts and narrows his eyes at him. He won't take no for an answer this time. "If you don't accept the invitation, McKay," he warns him, "I'm keeping her here. Major Lawrence likes her very much. I can ask him to put up a request to make her his under-cook. He'll soon retire and I'm sure he'd love to train her as his replacement," he says nastily. Seeing the look on the scientist's face makes him forget the unpleasant feeling he had for playing dirty.

"You wouldn't!" McKay hisses, narrowing his eyes at him.

Daniel lifts an eyebrow. He points at him before leaving. "Seven sharp on the parking lot. And lose the attitude. She used to be a teacher. She might smack you on the back of your head for that," he adds, chuckling.

She looks awkwardly at him as General O'Neill drives them to the restaurant. Daniel is riding shotgun and she's left with sitting with the scientist at the back. She only met him once – the day he and O'Neill appeared on her doorstep. Truth be told, everything is still a blur, so bemused was she to see a General from the Air Force standing in front of her and asking her if she'd please give them a minute of her time.

Dr McKay had barely spoken to her through the whole interview. She'd offered them a seat, coffee and sugar pies she'd just made, and the General had complimented her on them then went on explaining why they had come to see her. She'd caught Dr McKay's name mentioned in the conversation and that of a Dr Weir as well but he'd mainly remained eerily silent, playing with his spoon absent-mindedly.

She'd not talked to him ever since. Only seen him as he walked briskly through the corridors of the SGC and a couple of times when he'd sat with another scientist in the commissary. She's been told he's the reason why she's being hired but he's never once told her he liked her food. The guy sure likes to eat though – that much she knows.

She finally musters the courage to talk to him. "I was told you wanted me on the expedition and I never got the chance to say thank you," she tells him tentatively.

He glances at her briefly. He's drummed his fingers on the car door the whole drive. She sees General O'Neill glance at them briefly in the rear-view mirror. "Yes, yes, well, I'm glad you're happy about it," he replies, talking two hundred miles an hour.

She breathes out and looks away, blushing. He obviously resents being here with her.

"Rodney," Daniel growls warningly.

The scientist huffs and rolls his eyes. "Alright, got it," he tells him. He turns to Louise and gives her a tense smile. "Sorry about that. Yes, I was the one to request your presence. I saw you on that show. You seemed to be resourceful and to know what people liked on cue. I thought you'd be useful to the expedition. I'm glad you said yes." He turns to Daniel. "Satisfied?" he snaps.

She sees General O'Neill's jaw tense. "No, we're not, Dr McKay," he replies sternly.

She presses her lips together. The guy is obviously a jerk but she's been told he's a genius. She's met people like that. Her husband was one of them. Well, obviously not as intelligent, but a jerk, he was. Being smart – Master's Degree in Maths and Physics, top of his class – he thought it kind of granted him immunity. The right to trample on people and be nice to only those who were of any interest to him. She sets her jaw too and tries to keep her temper at bay. The humiliation stings, of course, but she knows she's got no choice. "Sir, please," she tells O'Neill, "it's OK, really. Dr McKay doesn't have time for this."

O'Neill parks the car in front of the restaurant and turns to her, looking pissed. "Ms Léger, it's not your call. I'll send you to Atlantis if and only if you have people there that will care for you. Dr McKay is kind of responsible for your presence here. Hence my request he graces us with his presence tonight." His words are final so she remains quiet and exits the car. Dr McKay glares at O'Neill and Daniel but makes a show of ignoring her.

The first part of the evening is excruciatingly quiet. She suddenly wishes she could have a drink and winces at the thought. She cannot relapse after all she's been through to get sober. Their glasses on the table are not helping and she finally stands. "Gentlemen," she says, "if you'll excuse me. I'll be right back." O'Neill and Daniel have stood when she did but Dr McKay has not even tried to be civil. She shrugs it off but hears Daniel give him a talking to as she heads for the ladies' room.

She sighs. She's so tired of all this and the evening is only getting started. She looks at herself in the mirror for a long time and lets the tears fall freely. She then plashes water on her face and walks back there, not caring to put some make up on.

She sits back with them. They're not talking. O'Neill takes one look at her and winces. "Louise," he pleads.

She shrugs. "Sorry," she apologizes. "It's been a long day and I'm tired. And yes, I'm scared of leaving."

McKay turns to her, bemused. "You can't be!" he protests. "This is the chance of a lifetime. Think of it – Atlantis!"

She gives him a forced smile. "Yes, of course, Dr McKay. It is, indeed." She falls silent then adds: "Why did you choose me? It's obvious you don't like me," she points out.

He looks nonplussed. "No. I mean... I don't know you. How could I not like you?"

"And you don't want to know me. How can I win?" she asks, frustrated.

He shrugs. "I didn't say that. I said I didn't have the time," he retorts.

"Well, you guys have the time now," Daniel points out. "Why don't you start with the most obvious – food?" he offers.

Louise gives him a broad smile. "I can talk about food all day," she says, looking suddenly perky.

"Me too!" McKay chimes in. "What kind of food do you like?" he asks her.

"All kinds, actually. I don't eat much but I like to cook," she tells him, sighing with content at the thought of everything she could prepare.

He snorts. "If you like to cook and I like to eat, I guess we can find common ground," he tells her, patting her hand on the table.

She looks up, bemused. He's gone from jerk to sweet guy in a flash. Clearly not what she expected. Pretty unsettling.

Daniel motions for Jack to follow him. They step outside. "What do you think?" he asks his friend. "He's faking?"

Jack shakes his head. "No. As much as I despise the guy, I think we can count on him to take care of her. In his own way. As long as she has food coming his way," he adds, chuckling. "I'll have Dr Weir keep an eye on her anyway."

"You think she might snap there?" Daniel worries.

"Dunno. She's still pretty suicidal, I think. I was for quite a long time. I can connect to that. What she needs is to be kept busy, that's all," Jack reflects. "If they successfully reach the City, she'll have her hands full. That might do the trick."

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

She's standing in the corridor to the stargate, wearing her full gear, a heavy pack on her back bearing all her earthly possessions. The place is packed with scientists who, like her, are waiting patiently for the gate to dial and the military to give them the all-clear. She doesn't have much and actually, she doesn't care. She crossed the Atlantic with only one suitcase. Enough to get her through the first months. A handful of personal objects. Her computer, e-book, a couple of cookbooks and a few photos, her phone – which obviously she'll only need to take photos and listen to music there – and clothes. Add a few toiletries and jewellery and voilà! All her medical stuff has been packed by Dr Lam herself and is at her feet. She knows she doesn't have to worry. She's got enough to last several years.

All she really cares about is now wrapped in crates that she'll unload if she can find the semblance of a kitchen over there. "You travel light," Cameron whispers in her ear.

She gives him a broad smile. "I try to," she smirks. For a reason she still ignores, he's taken a liking to her and has made it his personal task to take care of her the last few days, even helping her supervise the packing of all their supplies.

"Girls like to carry tons of things with them – in case," he points out.

"I'm not a girl," she counters, making him chuckle.

"I pledge to differ. But you're right. You're not any kind of girl," he tells her, making her blush from the compliment.

"Thank you, Cam," she rewards him with a smile.

"We're gonna miss you," he says, sighing. "Daniel has been moody for days. He hates to see you go and so do I. Are you sure you don't wanna stay? I know for a fact Major Lawrence wouldn't mind keeping you here at all."

She sighs. "Cam," she pleads. She's said her goodbyes to them both half an hour ago. It was hard for them all. They've told her they'll be in the Control Room when she leaves. She dreads that moment.

"Sorry," he apologizes, lifting his hands in surrender. "I shouldn't have."

"Here she is," she hears behind her. She turns and sees Rodney who's making his way through the crowd. He's in full gear too. He comes to stand in front of her and bounces on his feet excitedly. "You're ready, Louise?" he asks with a grin.

Ever since their evening at the restaurant, he's come to see her every day, often in the early morning, and has coffee with her. They've discovered they share the same passion for the strong brew. He often spends his time talking excitedly about his research and what they might find over there, in the Pegasus galaxy, but at least, he's civil and always asks her how she is. It's a promising start. They don't qualify as friends yet and truth be told, she's not sure she wants to connect to people but at least, she won't be lonely.

She nods. "I am," she replies with a smile that turns sour when she sees Sumner, then Sheppard make their way through the crowd too and pass them without a look for the people around them. "Pricks," she mutters under her breath. Cam tries to hide his smirk.

Rodney's eyebrows shoot to his hairline. "Those guys been nasty to you?" he worries. "Cause I won't allow for it," he adds arrogantly.

She giggles. "Thank you, Dr McKay, for being so chivalrous but I can defend myself. Sumner questioned my presence on the expedition but he has no say in the matter," she explains, seeing him follow the two men with his eyes. "As for Sheppard, I don't know him and I hope it'll stay that way," she says decidedly.

"And why's that?" he prods.

She rolls her eyes. "Well, duh! College jock, rakish looks..." she elaborates, aggravated he doesn't seem to see what's in plain sight.

Cam looks offended. "Hey, that's me too!" he protests.

She smiles at him fondly. "You're eye candy, Cam, but you're a gentleman. Those guys are not," she says disdainfully, pointing at the two men's retreating backs.

He gives her a broad smile that could light up the whole base. "I'm eye candy?" he asks, winking.

She rolls her eyes. "Don't be so full of yourself, Mister," she tells him. "I'm old enough to be your mom."

He snorts. "Uh, uh, I don't think so, Ma'am. And I know a few airmen here who don't see you as their mom either," he points out, nodding knowingly.

She narrows her eyes at him. "Point them to me and I'll make their life a living hell the next time I come here," she says through clenched teeth, making both McKay and Cam snort.

"Attention to all personnel of the Atlantis expedition," they hear General Landry on the intercom. "We're going to initiate the dialing sequence. If all goes according to plan, you need to be ready to move."

Cam pouts and gives her a hug. "That's my cue to leave, Louise. I was sure glad to meet you. Take care," he says.

McKay rubs her arm affectionately. "It's just you and me then," he says with a pout. "I need to join Dr Weir, though," he apologizes.

She nods and smiles. "I'll be fine, Dr McKay. Just go."

"Rodney," he corrects her. "Call me Rodney."

She blushes slightly at his sudden kindness. "Thank you," she mouthes. He winks at her and leaves. "See you on the other side, Louise," he tells her over his shoulder.

Jack O'Neill has asked Cam to take her through the gate not a week ago so she knows more about gate travel than most people who, like her, are now stepping through the gate. Dr Lam was worried she might have trouble with it, given her medical condition, so they checked but everything seems to be fine. She even liked it the second time around and told Jack she'd gladly do it again – just for the fun of it. He'd looked at her bemused. She doesn't seem like the kind who'd do anything dangerous or out of the ordinary.

He tells Dr Weir she needs to think about it when they start going on trade negociation missions because she obviously cannot do everything and Louise might very well be of use. It surprises her. She hasn't gotten the same impression. The few times she's met her, she was very quiet and subdued, keeping her hands on her lap most of the time, observing but hardly ever talking.

"I don't want to say too much," he counters her, "because we've agreed to keep a part of her life where it should be – in her past. But you need to understand that behind the quiet little cook hides a screwed up lady who just needs a gentle push in the right direction. She's still licking her wounds. She'll show her true self in due time."

It's probably the longest speech she's heard from General O'Neill. Whatever passed between him and the cook, he seems to have taken a liking to her. She chooses to trust his instinct and not ask for more.

Once they've had the go-ahead, everything passes in a blur. One moment she's walking up the ramp and looks over her shoulder one last time and sees Lawrence, Cam, Daniel and Jack waving at her encouragingly. The next, she steps through a tall room and looks around in awe before being ordered by the marines guarding the gate to move forward. She's been giving a headset and knows it will be used to communicate with the rest of the members. She sees her team pass her but they do not stop. They're not really her team, just airmen and marines doubling as prep cooks and dishwashers and right now, she's not their priority. She walks shyly to Elizabeth, who's looking around and giving orders. "Ma'am, what can I do?" she asks. Dr Weir has always been very considerate with her but she impresses her too.

"Well, Ms Léger," she tells her with a smile, "find us the kitchen."

She walks around, trying not to get in the way of the military and scientists scurrying along, and finally finds it when she hears the order to fall back to the Control Room.

She walks to Rodney who's working on his tablet and the controls. She puts her hands on her hips, clearly pissed. "Why did you call us back?" she demands. "I'd just found the kitchen. I'll need to feed people soon," she points out.

He barely registers he presence. "Starting with me," he mutters. "I'm starving. It's always like that when I'm under a lot of stress." She rolls her eyes too and huffs. He glances at her briefly. "Look, right now, it can't be helped. We're draining too much power. We might even have to evacuate. Sumner and Sheppard have taken a team through the gate to find an Alpha site in case. Stay put, OK?"

She sighs and walks to the crates piled in a corner of the room and sits there despondently. She's there when they rush people through the gate that are clearly not their own. She hears Dr Weir's remark they're in no position to take in refugees and walks to one of the kids who's sat on the stairs. She sits next to him and gives him a tentative smile. "You're gonna be fine," she says and offers him a chocolate bar. "I'm Louise," she adds, stroking his hair. She sighs as he leans into her. She'd not thought she'd have to connect to kids again. It's the last thing she wants but these people need comfort. Fate has a weird sense of humor, she reflects.

When the City rises above water and it seems clear they're going to stay after all, she gets the go-ahead to return to the kitchen and see what she can do. She requests and is granted permission to take a few of her staff with her.

What she finds makes her grin so much she thinks her jaw is going to hurt from it. The place is huge. At first, she doesn't see much because it's already evening and she can't find the switch to light the place. She calls Rodney only to tell him a few seconds later to forget about it. The place has come alight on its own. Wilson, one of her preps, walks to her and grins. "You like it, Ma'am?" she teases her.

Louise's eyes crinkle. "Oh yeah. It's like it's Christmas already! Let's see what we've got."

They count enough stoves and walk-in coolers and fridges to feed an army. A pantry. Quarters that must have been meant for the cook. And a cool-looking small room that doesn't seem to have anything in it as they open the door. She shrugs and tells her preps they'll check that out later. The most pressing issue is to prepare food for everyone. She gives orders to unpack what they need for tonight's meal and tomorrow's breakfast and sets to work.

Rodney walks into the kitchen about an hour later. He looks around and sighs with content. "The meals you're gonna be able to cook here, chef," he gushes before sobering up and informing her she needs to be careful with what she turns on because the ZPM is almost depleted. She promises to do just that. "Oh, and I also wanted to inform you," he says with a pout, "that Colonel Sumner has been taken in an ambush. Major Sheppard is now ranking military officer."

She rolls her eyes. "I'm sorry for Colonel Sumner," she winces. "As for Major Sheppard, if he's smart enough, he won't get near my kitchen," she sneers.

Rodney scoffs and shakes his head. "You really hate the guy," he remarks.

She shakes her head. "I don't hate him. I don't know him. I just distrust his kind. He keeps away from me and everything will be just fine."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

She's sent an email to Dr Weir on the intranet as soon as she's had her team organized and her crates roughly unpacked, telling her she's good to go. Weir calls her on her headset and tells her she's glad she's gonna be able to cook warm meals from now on. "Are you going to be able to feed that amount of people?" she worries. "With the Athosians on board, I'm afraid it's gonna be much more than you'd bargained for, Ms Léger."

Louise chuckles. "The more, the merrier, Ma'am," she says then adds on a much serious tone. "But you have to understand we were not supposed to have that many people to feed on a regular basis. You'll need to find food supplies earlier than we'd anticipated."

Weir agrees but tells her to keep the thought for a rainy day. They all have enough on their plates right now. "I'll inform Major Sheppard," she tells her, "and make sure he inquires into it whenever they gate off-world. Pending future trade negociations, though, we'll have to make do with what we have."

Louise winces at the mention of Sheppard's name but says nothing. She's sure he means trouble and knows Dr Weir will find out soon enough. It's not for her to tell the leader of the expedition what to do, though.

Weir calls her a couple of hours later. It's early afternoon but her boss seems to be extremely strained. "Ms Léger, do you have a minute?"

Louise pouts. She was getting ready to finally take a break but that will have to wait. Again. "Yes, Ma'am. What can I do for you?"

She hears Dr Weir sigh. "We're having a bit of a problem. We have successfully settled all the Athosians in temporary quarters."

"Yes, I heard," she replies. The kid she's taken care of when they arrived has been reunited with his father and come to see her with him. She's given them a tour of the kitchen.

"Well, it so appears the children seem to think they can roam freely through the whole City. To tell you the truth, they've already aggravated quite a few of our scientists, starting with Dr McKay who doesn't take too kindly to being run into. I was wondering if maybe you could..."

Louise winces and cuts her in. "Baby-sit them?"

"Yes, well. Jinto gushed about making cookies with you not an hour ago," Dr Weir mentions.

"Say no more," she tells her. "I get it. You know I was a teacher once so obviously I can handle kids and I can bake, which is a magnet for those little monsters," she replies sarcastically.

"If it's too much work," Dr Weir answers, "I'll understand."

Louise huffs. "Look, Ma'am. I can help but you need to understand there's a lot of work down here too and kitchens are dangerous places for kids."

Dr Weir agrees. "Alright, Ms Léger, what do you need?" she asks her.

Louise pouts. "Is it that obvious?"

Weir chuckles. "Yes, it is. Ms Léger, you need something. Just tell me. It'll save us time."

"Alright. I need my staff with me, not exploring the City with Major Sheppard's teams," she says bluntly. "I only have a quarter of my people here with me. He shouldn't expect me to prepare food for everyone and take care of the surplus of people with only a handful of people. I'm not Wonder Woman."

Weir smirks. Jack O'Neill had told her the little lady was outspoken. It seems he was right. "I do understand, chef. I'll inform him he needs to return what he has borrowed," she says, chuckling. "Weir out."

Louise sighs. If she'd been told she'd have to deal with a bunch of overexcited kids on her arrival, she might have reconsidered the offer. She left her job precisely for that - because she couldn't take being near kids anymore, seeing them so full of life when hers was no more. She turns to one of her preps resolutely. "You," she says, pointing at him, "are going to help me with a very delicate mission."

She sees his eyes light up and can't help smirking inwardly. _Not what you expect, buddy,_ she reflects.

By the end of the day, the kids have learnt how to make cookies and dunk them in a glass of warm milk. She hopes it will soothe them and put them to sleep faster. Halling, Jinto's father, comes to thank her before they return to their quarters and settle for the night. "I cannot start to express how grateful we are to you for welcoming us so well, Ms Léger," he tells her with a fond smile. The man is huge, towering over her petite frame, but his demeanor is gentle and kind. She looks at him and his son wistfully. It's plain to see he loves his son and the feeling is mutual.

"You're most welcome, Halling," she replies with a smile. "And Louise will do just fine. Good night, you two," she says, ruffling the kid's hair. "Sleep tight, kid."

She's woken up a few hours later by a call from Rodney who asks her if any of the Athosian kids is with her. She sits painstakingly on the edge of her bed and rubs her hand over her face. She groans. "God, Rodney, don't tell me you woke me up for that," she protests. "I'd finally fallen asleep."

"Sorry," he says hurriedly. "So," he insists, "are they?"

"No! Why?" she asks, suddenly worried.

"Jinto and one of his friends have disappeared and we can't find them. Sheppard has sent teams all over the already secured areas but we haven't been successful so far," he tells her.

She dresses hurriedly. "I'm coming your way," she tells him. "I wanna help."

"No, no, no," he replies, "you stay where you are. If the kids finally decide to show up, they might come and see you. I want you to stay put."

She huffs and sits back on her bed, feeling drained. She needs sleep badly but if the kids come, Rodney is right – she needs to be awake. She stands and trudges to the kitchen. The place is eerily silent but in a way, it's a nice change from the hustle and bustle of those last few days and weeks. On Cheyenne Mountain, it seemed the place never slept. There were always people moving around and noise all the time. Here, it's peaceful. She sighs with content and walks to the balcony she's just discovered last night. The cool night air welcomes her and she leans her back to the wall and watches the ocean and the stars. Tears well up in her eyes at the sudden feeling of peace she experiences. "I'm so blessed," she whispers to the wind.

She's interrupted in her woolgathering by Halling's voice calling his son on the intercom. She sighs and gets inside. They're obviously still looking for him. She looks around. If the kid comes her way, he'll need to know she's there so she switches on the lights in the whole area and decides to cook while waiting for him. She feels something behind her back, an unpleasant feeling creeping up her spine, and turns round. She recoils in fear. A vague shadow passes her, like it were looking for something, sniffing, but it soon disappears through the wall.

The lights flicker then come back on line. She schools herself to breathe, her heart beating too fast. She's not a scaredy cat but what she saw is definitely not normal. She taps her headset and informs Rodney of what she's just seen thinking _He's gonna declare I'm loony_. He doesn't and relays the information right away. He tells her she's not the only to have seen the shadow. There's definitely something fishy lurking around.

Rodney comes back after she's heard the news they've found the kids and they think they've found what's going on. He tells her they need to turn down all the equipments – that what she saw is an alien entity that feeds on energy.

Halling comes with some of the younger kids and Jinto. He tells her the little ones are pretty scared, especially now the power is off. She motions for them to come in and sits them all at the long table that serves as an island top then gets what she needs from the pantry – some round-shaped shortbread cookies and marzipan. She shows them how to use the almond paste as an edible substitute for play-doh and shape animals on top of the cookies.

Halling watches her as she speaks in soft tones to the kids, walking behind them and helping them. She looks up and sees him observing her. She smiles at him reassuringly. He nods his thanks and sees her look away. When the kids have had their share of sugar and finally look less scared and Weir calls to say they've lost track of the entity, Halling decides it's high time everybody gets back to bed.

She walks with them back to their quarters and sits next to the youngest ones, telling them a story about the little spider who'd made her web at the top of a teepee and how this had trapped the children's nightmares and let them only keep the good dreams. She looks up at Halling and smiles. "It's a story native people told their children in America," she explains then waves vaguely. "Ah, how shall I explain? It's a continent on our homeworld. Anyway," she adds hurriedly, seeing him nods his understanding, "those people had that very nice object called a dreamcatcher that they hung above their children's beds." She stands and smiles. "I'll be right back. I've got one in my room. I'll show you," she grins.

She ends up hanging it over the two children's bed to whom she's told the story. She bids them good night and leaves the room quietly. "That was a nice thing to do, Louise," Halling tells her. "Aren't you going to miss that object, though?" he worries.

She shakes her head and smiles. "It's just a pretty object, Halling. Unfortunately, I'm too old now to believe in those stories."

He walks with her to the end of the corridor. She's suddenly very silent. Not that she's used to talking a lot, he reflects. "You knew how to handle the children," he mentions.

She looks up at him and then looks down. "It was my job before," she confesses. "I mean, to take care of children, teach them things," she elaborates, knowing it doesn't mean much to him, their culture being very different.

"You prefered cooking," he prods.

She nods. "Yeah. Cooking is good. It's relaxing. It's also very demanding and I needed a challenge to keep me going," she replies off-handedly, hoping he won't hear the hurt and sadness she feels at the moment.

He just nods. "You like competition," he remarks.

She presses her lips together. "Yeah, I think I do."

"Major Sheppard likes it too," he says.

"I bet he does!" she sniggers.

He watches her cautiously. "You don't like him." It's not a question. He's seen the glint in her eyes.

She lifts her hands in mock surrender. "Sorry about that. I shouldn't have. I heard he helped you find Jinto."

He smiles. "He sure did. And he also told the children bedtime stories," he adds. "But don't worry. Speaking one's mind is the proof of a free spirit," he compliments her.

"And it has gotten me in heaps of trouble over the years," she adds, wincing. She frowns. "You mentioned he told the kids stories?"

"Major Sheppard? Yes, he did. I think the children didn't really understand what he was talking about, actually," he tells her. "Neither did I. He told them about a man with a hockey mask..."

She makes a double-take. "He what?" she cries out indignantly. "Moron!" she mutters.

"Sorry, what?" Halling says, surprised at the violence of her reply.

"Sorry again," she winces. "Moron means mentally retarded, someone stupid. It's meant as an insult." She shrugs self-deprecatingly. "I'm reknown for my bad language. But for my defense, he really is an idiot. You don't tell kids that kind of story if you want them to go to bed. No, scratch that," she adds, shaking her head. "You don't tell kids that kind of story. Period."

"I assure you, Louise. Major Sheppard did not scare the children at all," Halling remarks.

"Well, that won't get him points," she retorts. "Look, I gotta go," she says. "I'll see you all tomorrow morning. Take care."

When the whole thing ends, she's cooped up in her kitchen, trying to cook with the semblance of a staff Sheppard has left her – again – and what she can prepare without using any of the electrical devices. She opts for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the kids and turkey ones for the adults.

Rodney drops by some time later to recount her what happened and beg for a warm meal. She listens to him as he tells her about the Ancient gene therapy – that makes her prick her ears, though she doesn't say anything for the moment – and the shield device he's used on himself that in the end allowed them to get rid of the entity.

No sooner has she set a plate heaped with food in front of him and a tall mug of coffee that he endeavors to wolf it down, talking at the same time. "Wait, wait, wait," she tells him, "slow down. I didn't get that last part." She winces, seeing him gulp down a huge mouthful with scalding coffee. "He what?!"

He cocks his head and rolls his eyes. "You heard me, Louise. He pushed me off the balcony to see if it really worked. Shot me in the leg too," he adds. "Hum! It was an interesting experiment. Actually, we had fun," he adds wistfully.

She narrows her eyes at him. "And you let him?! I mean, really! You guys are so immature. He, I can understand," she scoffs disdainfully, "but you, Rodney McKay, should know better than that! You could have died!" she chides him, hands on hips.

He snorts. "Yes, Mom," he sing-songs. She glares at him. "Oh, come on! I was fine."

She huffs. "He's rubbing off on you, Rodney. Don't let him. He'll get yourself killed."

He rolls his eyes. "Alright. I'll tell him the cook doesn't want me to take risks," he baits her.

She looks apprehensive. "No, don't do that, Rodney. I don't want to have him show up in my kitchen and demand explanations. Told you. Don't want to have anything to do with him."

He pouts. "Might have to, anyway, honey. Dr Weir says sooner or later, we need to focus on the food supplies and she intends to have you join the team." Louise looks away, flushing. "Hey, what's so wrong with spending time with him? He's not the jerk you think he is," he tries to reason with her.

She trains her eyes on him. "I will not spend time with him. Period. Please, Rodney, I'm begging you. Ask Dr Weir to send me with another team. Better yet. Ask her to do without me. I'll give her lists of what we need. They don't need me with them."

He raises his eyebrows. "Louise, I thought you liked going through the gate," he points out.

She winces. "I did. It's just with all you're telling me, I'm not sure I want to leave the comfort of my kitchen. And I'm not comfortable with all those military guys running around the City as it is. I don't need to spend time with them on top of it all."

He pouts. Daniel has talked to him before they left. He's said she's a slow walker. She needs time to adjust to new situations and new people. "Don't let her wall herself up again," the archeologist has advised him. "She's pretty good at that. We're entrusting her to you." He hadn't thought much at the time, only sniggering inwardly that Jackson was a mother hen. Now, he's starting to have a pretty good idea of what he meant.

"Look. We don't need to do this now. We've got plenty left and it's not our top priority for the moment. Think about it. We'll talk about it later," he tells her and makes a mental note of telling Dr Weir about it.

"Oh, and one more thing," he says as he stands to leave, having finished his meal. "Jinto accidentally discovered that we had transporters throughout the City."

She looks nonplussed. "Small chambers. Look like broom closets. They're used to get to other parts of the City and to other levels too," he elaborates. "Won't have to walk up and down the stairs that much," he adds with a grin.

Her eyes light up. "I think I have one at the back of the kitchen. Could you take a look at it?" she asks him.

He activates it easily and shows her how it works. "You won't need the gene to use it. See, we're here and the Control Room is there," he points at the screen. "Ah," he scoffs, peering at the screen. "I think you have a room below that is directly connected to here," he says, pressing the screen. The doors whoosh close, scaring her. They whoosh open after merely a few seconds. Rodney steps out and motions for her to follow him. He turns to her, beaming. "Louise, I think I found your own personal storage room," he tells her.

 _TBC_

 _Extract from Louise's Cookbook_

 _Kids need their sugar fix. Granted! But they also need healthy treats so I made those with the Athosian kids. Sally's Baking Addiction inspired those. The dough was so good, it almost never made it to the oven!_

 _Oatmeal Raisin Cookies (2 dozen)_

 _1 cup butter, room temperature_

 _1 cup light brown sugar_

 _1/4 cup vanilla-flavored granulated sugar_

 _(just fill a mason jar with regular granulated sugar and vanilla pods and leave it for a few days. You'll always have vanilla for your baking and it's totally natural)_

 _2 eggs_

 _1 Tbsp molasses_

 _1 and 1/2 cups flour, sifted_

 _1 tsp baking soda_

 _1 and 1/2 tsp cinnamon_

 _1/2 tsp salt_

 _3 cups oats_

 _1 cup raisins, soaked in warm water for 15 mn_

 _Whisk the butter and sugars until light and fluffy then add the rest of the ingredients in the right order. Do not overmix._

 _Chill for one hour or overnight._

 _Make Tbsps of dough and rolls them then bake them on a baking sheet for 10 mn, 350°F._

 _Let cool 5 mn before transferring to a wire rack._

 _You can bake the frozen dough without thawing it by adding 1 extra minute to the baking time._


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter 8_

They've been there almost three months and she hasn't heard from Dr Weir yet about the food negociations and is sure glad of it. Truth is, she's got enough on her plate.

They've finally unpacked all the crates and organized the kitchen, pantry and storage area. She's worked on shifts with Dr Weir, sending her a plan that the latter has reviewed and edited with major changes that are not to Louise's liking at all.

Louise surmises most of the corrections were made by Major Sheppard. The preps she had relied on the most back at the SGC, those she's chosen personally, have been removed from most of her shifts – Bill Cox, because he's apparently a good shot, Anthony Ramundo and Ray Sutowsky too, for reasons unknown to her. She's fuming but there's not much she can do about it.

Kerry Wilson and Rusty Ridgeway, though, are blessedly still with her. Both are eager to learn and she soon entrusts them with more than mere preparations. Rodney has told her though she shouldn't keep her hopes high. Wilson carries the gene and if they need some extra help to turn on new equipment or fly the jumpers, she'll also probably be taken away from her.

She gets unexpected help from the Athosians who have offered to come and help her. She gladly relinquishes a part of the premises to them as she soon realizes their diet is very different from the expedition members'. Dr Weir agrees with her they should not impose on them a diet they're not used to and sees no problem letting them use a part of the kitchen area, as long as Louise agrees to it.

When she came to Atlantis, she'd thought her position would be a very lonely one. With the Athosians though, there's always someone around. On top of it all, the Athosian kids come to see her almost every day. She'd thought at first that it would be good therapy but it seems it's too much, too soon. She doesn't want to rebuke them so she simple tries to keep the pain at bay when they're with her but it comes to haunt her at night. She has recurring nightmares and recurring migraines and contrary to most people on board, it has nothing to do with the Wraith.

Her nights are short and restless and her days long and always very busy, what with managing the staff, cooking, cleaning and planning. She's discovered that with the teams going off-world and coming back at the oddest hours, there's never a lull in service.

She'd hoped she'd have time to cook for pleasure and experiment but all she manages is ordinary meals most of the time though Rodney always compliments her on the quality of her food.

"That's because my kitchen is a bottomless cookie jar," she teases him one day. "You guys do not eat properly," she chides him.

He looks offended. "I eat everything you put on my plate, Louise. You know that! I confess I have a sweet tooth but it's only because your cookies are so good," he gushes. "Besides, I've heard no one complaining about your food and I know those Athosian kids like to tap a little too much in your cookie jars too," he points out.

She beams at him. "Thank you for the kind words, Rodney."

He looks embarrassed. She chuckles as she sees him make a hasty retreat. Like her, he's not at ease with people. They make a pair, she reflects, though she doesn't mind. He never asks her questions and that suits her down to the ground.

She looks up from her workstation one day and frowns. "Kerry," she tells her prep, "have you seen any the Athosian kids today? I'd promised to make brownies with them."

Wilson nibbles at her bottom lip. "Well, Ma'am, it's probably because they're not allowed to roam freely around the City for the moment."

Louise pauses. "What?" she barks.

Wilson flinches. By now, she knows her boss, though often dreamy and sullen, can be very outspoken when something is not to her liking. "Dr Weir and Major Sheppard have decided that in the light of recent events, it was wise to monitor their comings and goings and restrict their access to certain parts of the City," she elaborates.

"And by recent events, you mean?" Louise prods, feeling her temper flare.

"Major Sheppard's team has been attacked quite a few times by the Wraith when off-world. Actually almost every single time. They contend it can't be a coincidence and wonder who might have tipped them off," Ridgeway tells her, taking over the conversation.

She trains her eyes on him, waiting for more. He waves towards the Control Room. "I was at a meeting this morning. All teams' missions – mine included – have been put on hold until they figure out who's the informant."

She breathes in and out until she knows she's going to be able to utter a word without yelling. "And thus they believe it's one of the Athosians," she completes his theory, with raised eyebrows.

Ridgeway glances towards his co-worker who winces. Their boss is one second away from raising hell. "And Sheppard is the one who gave the orders, of course!" she sneers.

"He's the CO, Ma'am," Ridgeway counters her.

She snorts disdainfully and taps her headset. "Rodney, you there? I need to speak to you."

McKay winces on the other end of the channel. "If you'll excuse me," he tells Sheppard and Weir, "I have a teensy bit of a problem to solve."

Sheppard glances at him and heads for the door. "OK. Need to see Grodin anyway," he tells them. "Will be right back."

Weir looks at Rodney expectantly. "Ms Léger must have discovered we're suspecting the Athosians. She seemed pissed," he tells her before heading for the door. "I'll go and see her."

"Tell her she's not making the rules here, Rodney," she tells him sternly.

He looks at her, embarrassed. "Did Sheppard forbid them to go near the kitchen?" he asks her.

Weir nods. "They're allowed to go at certain set hours but we've agreed too much movement around the City at all times is clearly not a good idea. The kitchen leads to the levels below through the storage area. Anyone who has access to it can easily access other crucial parts of the City. Tell her that."

He nods and leaves, sighing. Louise is not gonna like this at all.

And she doesn't. Especially when the Athosians choose to leave the City altogether and settle on the mainland that's been recently discovered.

"I'm so sorry," she tells Halling and Jinto who've come to say their goodbyes, escorted by a couple of marines. "If it were for me, you'd never have been treated this way. How could they not see how wrong that is?" she cries out indignantly.

Halling pouts and lays his hands on her shoulders. "You're a good friend, Ms Léger. You have a kind heart. But you need to understand Dr Weir's point of view. She's merely protecting her people, you included."

She sighs. "I know but it's too harsh a treatment. And I'm going to miss you all dearly," she adds, giving him a wan smile. "I've become fond of you all," she confesses.

"And us, you," he replies, bending his forehead to touch hers. He then levels his gaze with hers. "We'll see each other soon, Louise. Once this is past us, my people and yours will keep on being allies. We'll help your people and you'll help ours," he tells her confidently.

"All the work we've done, Halling," she sighs in frustration. "All those plans we've made to trade with other worlds you know. All this is going to go to the dogs if you do not return."

He shakes his head. "I trust our leaders and yours to find a solution soon. They'll discover what happened and we'll resume our talks, you and I. And once you're ready to leave your kitchen, I'll talk to Dr Weir and we'll take you with us. I know you'll make a great negociator," he praises her, making her blush.

She surprises Weir by walking into her office and asking for a minute of her time. "Ms Léger," the other woman greets her, "I'm surprised to see you here. I've been told you hardly ever leave your kitchen."

Louise looks down at her feet, feeling like a fish out of the water. It's true she likes her comfort zone but it's because it's all she's known for so long. Here on Atlantis and back at the SGC. She knows she's fallen into bad habits but it's hardly her fault. Back at the SGC, she was never allowed to roam freely and here, she simply doesn't have the time. "I'm sorry, Ma'am," she apologizes, "but I really need to see you."

Weir motions for her to come in and offers her a seat. She shakes her head. "I won't be a minute, Ma'am. I've just come to ask you to let me help with the resettlement. I believe it's the least I can do to compensate for the offense we're doing to them." She looks away, feeling ill-at-ease. She knows it sounds like she's accusing her boss of being heartless but she needs to make her point.

Weir nods slowly and presses her lips together. "I take it you're not happy about all this," she prods.

Louise pouts but remains silent. "Well, then, permission granted. I'll have Dr Beckett take you with him," she tells her with a tense smile. "He'll help them organize as Major Sheppard will too. See, we're not heartless, just cautious."

Louise sighs. "I'm not accusing you, Ma'am," she tells her.

Weir gets the underlying meaning of her reply but chooses not to confront her. "The Athosians are lucky to have you, Ms Léger. I've heard you've made friends with quite a few of them. I too am fond of Halling and his son. I hope we'll soon be able to all work together."

"You've got to be kidding me, right?" she tells McKay when he comes to see her after she returns from the mainland. She's just discussed her trip and her subsequent encounter with Dr Beckett with him over a cup of coffee. It's late at night and with the kids now gone, the place is eerily silent.

He shakes his head and snorts. "No, I'm not. We captured it and it's in the brig as we speak. Want to see him?" he teases her.

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, sure! As if I didn't have enough nighmares as it is," she says then clams up, realizing she's let on too much.

"Got nightmares?" he prods. "What of?"

She shakes her head dismissively. "Nothing. So, Wraith, uh? Who had that great idea?" she scoffs.

He winces. "You're deflecting," he remarks. "That's so you!"

She bites her bottom lip and looks away. She'd always surmised he didn't notice when she did it because his mind is always occupied by a million things. He sighs. "Sheppard did," he confesses.

She rolls her eyes, aggravated. "Oh, yeah, of course! What was I thinking!" she retorts, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

He huffs. "Stop it, Louise! When is this feud gonna end? He doesn't even know about it. Doesn't even know about you," he says then reflects it's not the best way to put it.

She snorts disdainfully. "That, I'm sure of. Pretty boy wouldn't even imagine someone like me co-exists in the same universe!"

Rodney stands and crosses his arms on his chest defensively. "Look, Louise. I never thought I'd say that to you one day but you're judgmental when it comes to him. He sometimes makes hasty decisions, yes, and he does piss off his superiors, Elizabeth included, but he's a good officer and a kind man. Learn to know him before you pass judgment on him so easily."

She huffs and looks away. Truth is, she's not proud of herself either. Rodney does have a point. Come to think about it, she doesn't exactly remember how this thing started. One bad impression led to another. "If only he would comb his hair, Rodney," she replies sarcastically to hide her unease, "I might consider meeting him." He smirks. "I said meet, not fall head over heels for him as you all have, apparently," she adds nastily.

He snorts then sobers up. He walks to her and kisses her cheek. "Gotta go. As for the hair, forget about it, honey. It's got a mind of its own!"

It's a little later, when she's finally settled in a more comfortable routine and is starting to take it for granted, that they're informed they're gonna have to evacuate because of a storm. And not only them but the whole planet, including the Athosians. They've found an Alpha Site and all non-essential personnel need to go. She opens her mouth to protest when told by Ridgeway but he cuts her off. "Yes, even the food service, Ma'am. For all we know, the City might not even be able to make it. Dr McKay and Dr Zelenka are working on it but they don't want to take chances. We all have to vacate the premises."

"Why wasn't I informed?" she demands, pissed she has to learn it from one of her subordinates.

He pouts. "Sorry, Ma'am. Dr Weir sent me to tell you. We just have a few hours before the storm hits us. We need to be fast and thorough. Only take what is essential. The rest will have to remain on board."

She's worried sick throughout the whole ordeal of not knowing what is happening. She mainly stays with the Athosians, trying to reconnect, though she's got her heart in her throat. For all she knows, Dr Beckett is still on the mainland, probably stuck there, and Rodney and Dr Weir have stayed behind on the City to try and find a solution.

Jinto comes to sit next to her and tilts his head. "You're worried," he states. She gives him a wan smile. "You shouldn't. Dr McKay is very smart and Major Sheppard is too. They'll save the City," he tells her.

It's not the first time she hears the kid praise the City's 2IC. She turns to him. "You seem to like him a lot," she remarks. He lifts his eyebrows. "Sheppard," she elaborates.

He nods enthusiastically. "Yes, I do like John. He's very kind. And funny," he adds, surprising her. She'd not pegged him as a funny guy. "And he likes Ferris Wheels and popcorn and college football," he recites faithfully. "He made me taste popcorn and we watched football but what's a Ferris Wheel, Louise?" he asks her with wide, eager eyes.

She giggles. "I'll show you a picture when we get back to Atlantis," she offers, realizing she's said when and not if.

He leans towards her conspiratorially. "He said he doesn't like clowns. They scare him. Don't tell him I told you. He doesn't like to talk about it."

She giggles some more. "I get his point. They scare me too."

The End (for this prequel)

 _The story picks up in Seasoned with Love ;)_

 _I thought it was fun to have some virtual whumping at Sheppard without him even knowing it. LOL_


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